Welcome Wisdom

Constructive Conversations about Care at Home

by Felicia Juntunen, MA, CMC, Director of Care Management

The idea of accepting care at home is among the difficult conversations families may encounter as they navigate supporting an aging loved one. Understanding the perceived barriers to accepting care can help families have constructive conversations about home care services. Some of the common hesitations include:

• Discomfort with someone unfamiliar: Older adults may feel uneasy having someone they don’t know in their home.
• Sensitivity around personal care: Receiving help with tasks like bathing or dressing can feel intrusive or embarrassing.
• Financial concerns: Cost of care may create stress or uncertainty for the individual or family.
• Scheduling and coordination stress: Managing shifts, and care routines can seem overwhelming.
• Communication challenges: Expressing needs or preferences may be difficult, leading to frustration or unmet expectations.
• Perceived threat to independence: The introduction of care may be viewed as diminishing their autonomy.
• Caregiver hesitation: Family caregivers might feel that introducing help is emotionally or logistically unattainable, or even like an added responsibility.

These are all valid concerns and once acknowledged can be more easily discussed and addressed.

 

Overcoming Common Obstacles

Helping to reframe the conversation in a positive tone is usually the first step- encouraging the older adult that the services are about providing support to preserve their independence. Working with a reputable, licensed agency can help address safety concerns. When a family understands what is causing resistance and shares that information with the provider, it increases the care giver’s ability to approach the care recipient appropriately and more effectively. Understanding the scope of care that can be provided by an agency also helps everyone have realistic expectations.

 

The Benefits of Partnering with a Care Manager

Aging Life Care professionals are sometimes called on to mitigate the challenge of introducing home care to a reluctant recipient. On such occasions, we use the same strategy as above- identify and acknowledge barriers and provide accurate information and assistance to implement services. Care managers refer to agencies who have served their clients well. They help individuals identify what kind and how much assistance is needed. Families often need reassurance and encouragement that the effort of introducing in home care is worthwhile. Aging Life Care professionals have the experience of knowing when and how to introduce care. Communication strategies employed by care managers can also be utilized by families: provide plenty of reassuring statements and respectfully and empathetically acknowledge that the needs of the care recipient may not necessarily equate with what they want.

 

Successfully Introducing Support Care

Elder Care Management client, Walt*, was living with advancing Parkinson’s, at home with his wife as his caregiver. As Walt’s physical health declined, so did his wife’s ability to care for his needs. They discussed hiring an agency to help, but Walt was reluctant. Their son contacted Elder Care Management, and a care manager met with the couple. Walt, who had always been very independent and physically active, expressed that he was concerned that accepting help would lead to him doing less for himself. A plan was proposed to enlist a caregiver for several shifts each week to allow Walt’s wife time away from the house and his care. In addition to some help with personal care, the care manager identified some preferred activities the care giver could assist with. Within a short period of time, Walt developed a good rapport with the caregiver, who was able to take him for walks and out to meet with friends. Shifts were gradually added and then extended to provide the support Walt and his wife needed.

*names have been changed to protect client identities