Welcome Wisdom

Constructive Conversations: Steering the Driving Discussion

by Felicia Juntunen, MA, CMC, Director of Care Management

When it comes to aging families, few topics are as challenging as discussing driving. For many, driving represents freedom, independence, and identity, making it an emotionally charged subject. Care managers often witness families grappling with how to approach this sensitive issue, whether to express concerns or to lay the groundwork for future decisions. By understanding the realities of older adults and driving, and adopting supportive communication strategies, families can encourage constructive dialogue and minimize tension.

The Realities of Aging and Driving

Driving cessation is an eventual reality for most individuals, though it can be difficult to imagine life without a license. Studies show that:

• Longevity vs. Driving Ability: On average, men live six years and women ten years beyond their ability to drive safely.
• Collision Risks: Vehicle accidents are more harmful for older adults due to physical vulnerability.
• Self-Regulation: Many older drivers naturally adjust their habits, such as driving less at night, avoiding speeding, and abstaining from drinking and driving.
• Emotional Impact: Ceasing driving can lead to increased social isolation and depression.

Functional impairments that influence driving safety often stem from mobility, balance, cognition, vision, or hearing declines. These may affect critical abilities like turning the head, operating pedals, and responding to unsafe situations. It’s essential to recognize that driving safety is determined by performance, not just age.

Setting the Stage for Constructive Conversations

How families approach the driving discussion greatly affects the outcome. Experts recommend starting these conversations early, while aging parents are still actively engaged and able to contribute to the dialogue. Early discussions help:

• Establish mutual expectations for the future.
• Build trust and openness for when circumstances change.
• Frame driving as a performance-based consideration, not a limitation of age.

Practical Tips for Productive Discussions

• Focus on Strengths: Emphasize safe driving practices and discuss opportunities to optimize safety, such as limiting night driving or enrolling in balance training.
• Screen Periodically: Agree as a family to regularly assess functional abilities, allowing for proactive solutions rather than reactive decisions.
• Involve Professionals: When appropriate, enlist the support of trusted physicians or driving specialists to provide an objective perspective.

Supporting the Transition from Driving

Planning for a loved one’s transition from driving ensures that mobility and independence are not abruptly lost. Families can prepare by:

• Exploring alternative transportation options, such as rideshare services or community shuttles.
• Helping to develop a routine schedule for errands, appointments, and social outings.
• Identifying natural opportunities for change, such as when vehicle repairs become costly or when navigating unfamiliar streets becomes overwhelming.

A Positive Example in Action

Edward*, an Elder Care Management client, experienced a gradual transition away from driving with his family’s support. While he initially moved to assisted living as a driver, he found navigating the area challenging. Recognizing he wasn’t ready to part with his car, his family used it during visits to drive him to appointments and errands. Later, when the car required expensive repairs, they appealed to his practical side, suggesting the funds could be better used on transportation services. Together, they created a schedule combining the community’s shuttle service and paid rides, allowing Edward to maintain his independence without the stress of driving.

*names have been changed to protect client identities