Welcome Wisdom

Constructive Conversations in Aging Families

by Felicia Juntunen, MA, CMC, Director of Care Management

Welcome to the new year! Our 2025 newsletter series will focus on turning difficult topics in aging families into constructive conversations. We’ll address issues like planning for the future, medication management, moving, and arranging in-home care- just to name a few – and we will share some helpful tools and real-life experiences to illustrate. Aging Life Care professionals regularly interact with families who are experiencing distress because of communication issues. We understand that all families have complexities that can arise from their own history as they encounter challenges assisting their aging loved ones. Lack of information, differing perspectives, and varying expectations can cause further strife as families encounter aging challenges. Care Managers can assist by providing information and tools so a family can work together successfully to address the needs of an aging family member.

Developing the ability to talk about difficult topics starts by understanding that our communication is not just limited to words. In fact, 55% of our communication is through body language and 38% is through the tone and inflection of our voice. That means only 7% of our communication is through the words we use. That’s a sobering thought and helps us understand the importance of making every word count! We can grasp the value of recognizing the impact of body language, like eye contact and facial expression, as well as the effect of how we say something. Keeping the balance of body language and voice tone in mind is especially important if cognitive issues, hearing, and/or vision loss are present in the person with whom we are communicating. It’s also key to plan communication at a time of day that is optimal for your loved one, and carefully consider location and who else may be present. This kind of context can be as important as the delivery of your message and impact the overall effectiveness of communication.

Compassionate listening is equally important to successful communication. Referring to the impact of our body language– our eye contact and posture will reveal how much interest we are showing in the other person when they speak. It is critical to limit distractions, including our phones, work, food, or anything else that may compete for our attention. Avoiding the temptation to interrupt is another important aspect of compassionate listening– everyone benefits when people can complete their thoughts. Compassionate listening is easier to accomplish when we understand that in a single conversation, not everything will get resolved but that small steps in the right direction matter. Importantly, letting go of the need to be right allows us to engage in communication that is not only compassionate but also truly constructive.

As we move forward into 2025, we hope you will join us as we explore some strategies for turning hard discussions into positive and productive dialogue that can promote improved well-being for loved ones.