Welcome Wisdom

Constructive Conversations: Navigating Financial Discussions in Aging Families

by Felicia Juntunen, MA, CMC, Director of Care Management

 

Money and mortality are topics often avoided until they become urgent, yet they are crucial conversations in aging families. Aging Life Care Professionals encourage proactive discussions about estate planning and financial management before challenges- like difficulties in bill-paying- arise.

 

The Risk of Financial Fraud

Seniors face an increasing risk of financial fraud. According to the National Council on Aging, adults aged 60 and over suffered a staggering $3.4 billion in losses due to financial fraud in 2023 alone. This underscores the need for trusted individuals to oversee financial matters and help prevent losses.

 

Approaching the Conversation

Starting discussions early can make a significant difference. Consider these strategies:

• Share personal experiences- talk about fraud prevention efforts you’ve encountered.
• Acknowledge the difficulty- validate that discussing finances can be uncomfortable but necessary.
• Recognize independence- reassure aging loved ones that oversight is about support, not control.
• Offer assistance- learn about their financial management to step in when needed.
• Emphasize teamwork- present collaboration as a way to improve security and financial safety.

For those creating estate plans, identifying and informing a trusted person early can prevent future complications when capacity declines. These conversations, like many aspects of aging, can noticeably shift family dynamics, making it essential to acknowledge the emotions involved.

 

Emotional Challenges and Communication Tools

Money discussions often evoke strong emotions. Effective communication strategies can help ease tensions:

• Avoid personalization- misinterpretation is common in emotional conversations.
• Use the QTIP method (Quit Taking It Personally)- recognize that responses may stem from deeper issues rather than personal attacks.

 

A Real-Life Example: Roberta’s Story

Roberta*, an Elder Care Management client, fell victim to financial abuse from a family member posing as a caregiver. When her daughter intervened, Roberta remained emotionally dependent on the abuser and denied the fraud, leaving her daughter feeling unappreciated. A care manager helped Roberta’s daughter understand the psychological need behind her mother’s response. By practicing QTIP, she maintained focus on protecting her mother’s financial well-being while safeguarding her own emotional health.

By initiating financial conversations early and understanding emotional complexities, families can help aging loved ones secure their financial future while maintaining trust and support.

*names have been changed to protect client identities